[former] “chronic perfectionist” thinks about god

As a [present-moment update: former] “chronic perfectionist” I’m very much aware of how meaningless the pursuit of perfection is. One, it’s almost always impossible. There will always be aspects of something that the human mind will not be able to sense or think of and that something will always seem lacking. The gap between 99 and a hundred is infinite, and no human can ever completely cover it.

The other thing is even if one gets close to the hundred, or perhaps one estimates and decides that whatever the thing is, its state is an objectively perfect state and the whole of humanity agrees, that still will not be good enough. There might be the initial feeling of success, of achievement, a “finally!” Yet that feeling, like any other feeling, is but a fleeting sensation. What comes after can make the initial positivity questionable in worth. The dissatisfaction, disappointment: that the what was beyond-anything and to-aim-for was just that something. It was never other-worldly in the first place.

What I realised as well was that the pains that come with the process of getting to that state is where the true worth is at. And that worth is what makes it meaningful, hence, the process is meaningful.

Maybe Jesus became human because it is more meaningful than to be a god. It may be argued that the goal for us, humans, is then to be like god, or at least, to get where the god is.

But what does that mean, to be a god?

An all-powerful being alone looking over everyone else together. The variants—the deities, personas, whatever they’re called in whichever religion/belief—are, still, theologically usually considered as just parts of a whole totality. Same being, different personas created/manifested/presented: that’s how lonely that is.

Maybe it’s just because of the limits of the human consciousness but I can’t think of any other way to exist besides the same human life, only better (or continuously striving to be better). But what do I—or anyone, really—know about what’s good? 🙂

An Old Letter I Thought I Had Already Burnt
a.k.a. The One Thing That Remains Resonating from 23rd April 2021