Flow and music, after the new keyboard arrived

I had one like this some ten-ish years ago but I don’t really remember how that went. Just that, it was a forgettable thing, so I didn’t even realize when the old keyboard left the house. Hahaha. I’ve been drawn to music these days and apparently when you let yourself go ‘with the flow’ you end up with a new toy and many hours beyond space and time. Even though I can’t play an actual piece or song yet, simply pressing the keys to randomly make sounds with felt amazing. A proper flow state.

I’m what you can call… a frustrated child-musician. As in, I want to have been strictly musically trained as a child, but I’m one of those Asians who didn’t get forced by their parents into after-school classes. They had been very relaxed when it comes to non-Academic interests so they just let introverted child me stay at home and read.

Since I started taking a break from academic pursuits, I have been feeling drawn into other creative endeavors. Particularly music, as painting has always been a more-or-less regular thing. It was music that I had always just watched (listened) from a distance, never having the guts to actually try.

Why that was the case, I don’t know. Perhaps part of it is because of witnessing louder social communities consuming and talking about music. I’ve only started to consume mainstream media recently, as I had preferred the classics and instrumentals (they had made me feel productive), and because of that, I didn’t know a lot of the music that my peers would listen to. I still don’t, actually. At some point, that made me feel like music is this field I know nothing about, except for basic music theory in grade school and some chance moments with instruments. Or the stuff I listen to at 4 AM while I write poems.

Then there’s also how musicians are usually those that had spent thousands of hours in classes and practice, learned-to-read-music-sheet-before-they-could-read-books kind of artists. So whenever I’d think about trying out classes, I’d just brush it aside. I had too many other endevours anyway, and for this one, it’s too late. I didn’t start at five.

The hesitation has been wearing off in the recent years. About two years ago, I took voice classes. Then the year after that, drums. I contemplated between drums, violin, and the piano. I thought I’d get myself a set of drums for my birthday, but the instrument wasn’t as convenient as I initially imagined. Hahaha.

At this point, I think most of the hesitation has worn off; hence, this. In my latest pursuit of going with the flow I unexpectedly ended up with a new toy to play with. The portability and price made it feel like a safe choice; not yet an actual investment but who knows? I think our house would soon have space for an actual piano.

Ah, the stuff of dreams.

But for now, I’m having fun. Csikszentmihalyi’s book, Flow, helped a lot with these and my many other recent realizations as well. Highly recommended.